I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you or let you down. The girl of my dreams doesn’t deserve to be treated like bronze, but garnished in gold. You make me the happiest ever been. I constantly catch myself laying awake at night wishing I were by your side. It keeps me awake. I have had countless sleepless nights. I love you so much it makes me sick. I feel so alive when I’m wish you, like nothing can stop me or hurt me. However when ever I’m not I feel like I’m dieing, I get sick to my stomach and my heart hurts. I hope I don’t push you away when I seem too needy or insane about you. I don’t mean to seem so clingy and obsessive. It’s just something about you, I miss it immediately when I’m like only a mere foot away. You are my little piece of heaven, my treasure that I have to guard and protect, my drug that gets me by, my angel in disguise. I’ve been trapped inside your heart shaped box for what feels like an eternity. I am so lucky to have you, so lucky to be able to finally call you mine. I’ve played the cool mysterious guy for long enough and now your getting to see this sensitive humaness about me, but your still this holy divinity in my eyes. I can’t stand it when I get like this, when I long for. When I make myself so anxious and panicy. So empty inside without you to cling to for safety. You save me. You save me from all that is vile and evil. You are the epitome of all that is good in the world. I can’t see myself with any one else. I feel like I’ve caught you like a disease and I’m addicted to you. I go through these painful withdrawals when ever I don’t have my vitamin e, every time your gone. I get so sad when we have to leave. I get so scared sometimes, your all I could ever want or need and you treat me and make me feel in such a way that I am a stranger too and I’m not used to it, I don’t want anyone to steal you away from me. I chew my nails and grit me teeth at the thought. My foot shakes uncontrollably and it feels as though the devil himself has set a fire in my stomach. When your gone it feels like I have twenty ton crushing me, my shoulders and back buckle under it’s weight. I have no reason to wake up, early or really at all, when ever I don’t see you. I feel like a lunatic. I do so much just to make you smile, just to make you happy. I disregard my own inventions just to do so. I neglect myself and others of things I need to do, to do so. I lie, cheat and steal for you to make even the slightest grin. I will give you the world along with myself. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. We have cried together, laughed together, and grown together in the time we have been together. I fell so quickly, I keep falling. I was scared of the thought at first, and I know you could tell. But now I’ve grown accustomed to falling madly in love with you, just at the sight of you, every time that I see you. I don’t mind my memory being filled by you. I don’t kind growing old and dieing with you. Death used to frighten me so much, but not so as ling as you would be the last thing I saw and held and told that I loved. That would be my life in a nut shell. I can’t imagine it any other way. Actually I’m still petrified of death, because dieing means that I would have to be away from you and that thought alone is equivalent to death to me. My mind is racing. My heart is skipping beats. I can’t sit still. I need you here with me. Idk if it’s a panic attack or simply withdrawals, but all I know is that only you can bring me back to reality. You have an uncanny way of making me think more clearly and breath easier, but then my mind becomes cluttered with your image and memory and thought and everything and you take my breath away. This is a perfect love paradox. A contradiction for fairy tales everywhere. You are my fairytale, you can’t be real. If this is a dream I never want to wake up. You are better than any dream thought that my mind could ever make up. You are my princess, my queen. I am just your server boy, who wants to be your knight in shining armor. You wipe away my rust on my armor to expose this golden gleaming metal that has never shined so bright. You make me a better person, you just make me better. I am so lucky. I am so in love with you.

It’s driving me insane not being able to sleep next to the one I love every night. It’s like I long for her when she isn’t by my side, and nothing seems to feel right. I’ve had really bad anxieties an panic attacks lately and she doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s from all the sleepless nights and countless times I’ve been without. My heart beats gentle when I don’t feel her touch. A couple nights ago I had the best sleep I’ve had in weeks on the hardest futon. I slept on a hard cold pole, but I had her next to me.